The Broken Side of the Window
(Serenity - Lisa H)
Dreams escape me
I’ve no place else to be alone
To see the reflection of my past
Is to see where I’ve been and how I’ve grown
The broken pieces are points in my life
Where the other side of fame can’t see
I’m no saint, I’ve got my faults
Cut me open and watch me bleed
I’m out there for everyone
They watch me and never seize
The harsh reality of who I could become
If I let it become a crippling disease
Lights flashing, people rushing
Snakes in the asphalt jungle bite
To alter the perception of whom I am
They build you up and watch you take flight
Tumbling, stumbling, covering my eyes
Hiding behind tinted glass and shades
Pieces of me snatched up in the scuffle
Just waiting for all the silence to fade
On the broken side of the window
Do you see; can anyone really see?
I’m just a man in a looking glass
And I’m just trying to be…..
In The Mirror
Okay, so today we threw a big party for a woman at work who turned 50. She looks fabulous for her age! But I had to laugh at my reaction to another woman who came by her desk to wish her a Happy Birthday.
You see, this woman stops…looks at all the “Over the hill at 50” decorations on her desk…overhead cabinet…chair…the giant 50 floating through the air space around her…and the public bulletin board…advertising that she was 50, and say’s. “Happy Birthday! How old are you??” O_o Really? Really.
Oh but that’s only part of why I giggled. (I know…shame on me! *smack*)
This woman is a lovely person, but to coin a phrase from my fathers years. She looks “Rode hard and put away wet!” That is putting it mildly. What I laughed at was her comment to her in response to the 50 year old saying “I feel it too!” She say’s “Oh honey, you look great! Besides, it’s just a number! Take me for instance, I’m 54!” Again….. O_o I laughed. (coughshelooksatleast64cough)
Then I felt bad.
I had to wonder really. I don’t feel old. I’m 44 but I don’t feel that much older than I should. Looks are another thing you see. They betray us. They tell everyone around us that we should feel old. We should sit down on the bus instead of stand. We should take a rest after walking from the parking lot into the store. It’s icy out, what if we fall? But I don’t feel like that.
My motto….”I refuse to go graceful into the age of indifference.”
I mean that! I’m not going to stop going to concerts. I’m not going to stop listening to Korn on full blast in my car. I’m not going to take the handicap spot up front, even though it sounds good at the time. Hell…someone older than me might need it! Say….someone who’s 50! ;)
In the mirror
Serneity (Lisa H)
What I see in the mirror, and how the mirror sees me,
Are two very different versions of reality.
I don’t seem to feel as old as my years
I refuse to lay waste to senility fears.
I could spend all my time trying to catch up with my youth
When, I’d rather be dancing, to tell you the truth.
When you look at me, look right in my eyes.
What you see there might just be a surprise
There is life, spirit, and wisdom of age.
Passion and presence, vitality, rage!
I have plenty to give, and stories to share.
I’ll go through life without any care.
I’ll carry myself with a confident stride,
I’ll throw caution to the wind and march onward with pride.
There’s too much life in my years, I refuse to give in,
I still see where I’m going and know where I’ve been.
I’ve made it this far without worry or sorrow,
And if the Good Lord sees fit, there’s always tomorrow.
Marbles…
I know what you’re thinking….why on earth would I start another new blog?
Well I’m going to fill it up with all my marbles. lol Those little thoughts that run through my head on a regular basis, screaming to get out.
Sometimes it’s a rant, sometimes it’s a rave and other times a poem or verse. Maybe a video of the music I’m drawn to at the time.
Today’s marble?
Sort of a heavy breath. Not quite a relief. Just the heavy air I’ve filled my lungs with until I couldn’t hold it any more.
Went with my Dad (and Mom) this morning to talk to the cancer doctor.
He has:
1.Skin Cancer
2. Bladder Cancer
3. Renal Polyps
4. Kidney Cancer
5. and Lymphoma
The most dignified man I know…..has the most undignified disease know to me.
Anyway, he’s been taking medicine that is Chemo only in pill form. It was shrinking the cancers! 9 months later however, it’s growing again…And spreading. What to do next was the purpose of the visit. This Doctor was very optimistic about increasing the dosage of his meds in order to get it back under control.
I think I scared him when I burst out with “That’s because it’s not your body it’s in!” I wasn’t mad at him for being optimistic…I just wanted him to understand. This isn’t new to him…but it sure as hell is new to us!
So the final word is…stay the course.
Continue taking the Chemo medicine. Continue with the good attitude and continue to hopefully make strides in fighting this awful intruder.
So we stay the course. We fight. We smile. We cry in private.
